Big Erik and "The Number"

(sung to tune of "Proud Mary", apologies to Creedence Clearwater Revival)

Left a good job in Bispgården,

Workin' down at Skogis every night and day,

And he never lost one minute in the forest

Worryin' 'bout the gain he was giviní away,

Big Erik keep on turnin', Status Number keep on burnin',

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on "The Number"

Drew a lot of graphs in his office

Dumped a lot of gain just to favour more genes,

But he never saw the good side of "The Number",

Till he hitched a ride on that simulation screen

Big Erik keep on turnin', Status Number keep on burnin',

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on "The Number"

If you come down here to Skogis,

Dagíll give you lots of equations that live

You don't have to worry, 'cause you got no data,

POPSIM and Tim are happy to give.

Big Erik keep on turnin', Status Number keep on burnin',

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on "The Number"

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on "The Number"

Rollin', rollin', rollin' on "The Number"

 

Me and Professor Dag

(sung to tune of "Iím in love with a big blue frog", apologies to Peter, Paul & Mary)

Ohhh, I'm in love with Professor Dag

Aní Professor Dag loves me

It's not as strange as it appears

He gave me "gain" and "diversity"!

Ohhh, I'm not worried about the trees

I know they'll turn out swell

They'll have great genes 'cause they' been bred

And status like no one can tell

Ohhh, I'm in love with Professor Dag

Aní Professor Dag loves me

It's not as strange as it appears

He gave me brains and a PhD!

Some breeders are against it and it's clear to me

As it's probably clear to you

They think diversity and gain will go right down

Once Dag and I get through

Ohhh, I'm in love with Professor Dag

And Professor Dag loves me

I got it tattooed right on my chest

It says "co-an-ces-t-ry" ... That's Dag to me ...

"CO-AN-CES-T-RY"!!!!!